One night I was at the jazz club and all of a sudden a pack of rabid dogs burst through the door. They ripped everyone to pieces except me.
"Curious," I wondered.

The canines leashed me and dragged me into the darkest depths of their kingdom. They strapped me into a torture bench and performed sadistic experiments on my still conscious body, slowly turning me into one of them.

I now run with the pack and hump every severed leg.
Half man, half dog. I am become death and heat.