Dear Santa
This year for Christmas I'd like the new Relaxative CD
I left out extra milk and cookies for you
Your pal,
Sean

Yeah!
Christmas eve 2014
I'm too excited to sleep
I wanna hear some brand new tunes
I wanna play them on repeat
I don't want no shirts or ties
I don't want no big surprise
I don't want socks or lots of toys
I just wanna make some noise
Anticipation, wrecking my brain
I hope he gets here soon before I go insane
I just wanna get drunk and play air guitar
And scream out the lyrics to my favorite songs
Finally, I had drifted off to sleep
Hot girls and punk shows had flooded my dreams
Until the alarm went off on my clock
It's Christmas day, get ready to rock!
Lit a smoke and grabbed a beer
Eagerly ran downstairs
Nothing there under my tree
Except a note where the cookies had been

What the hell is this?
What do you mean it's not released yet?

When I saw you at the mall
I guess you were just all talk
When you said you'd give me what I've always wanted
My hands clenched into fists
And my eyes began to twitch
I can't believe you lied to me
You'll pay for this

No time for clothes, I'll just wear my bathrobe
Grabbed an extra beer and jumped out the window
I stole a car, a dirtbike and a boat
While on my travels to the north pole
Fought two polar bears before I got to his house
I yelled "Merry Christmas!" and punched him in the mouth
Let that be a lesson, don't lie to me again
Or I'll come back and find you
I know where you live

Merry Christmas