Blame it on Santa (2008)

I woke up in the morning
on that very special day
I looked at my empty bed
no doll from Santa's sleigh.
I could not see a strand of
her blonde and curly hair
and all through the long year
I have been so nice,
no dreams of underwear
I haven't even played with my little teddy bear.

I really hate you Santa
perversions with your deer stags
in the children's bedrooms
your peeping elf fags.
I despise you Santa
onto children's laps
you have emptied the contents of your bags.

I woke up in the morning
on that very special day
I looked at the empty sack
no hard packets to lay.
No well armed battleships, thus
I'll go on shooting blanks
and all through the long year
I have been a saint
without my evening yanks
once I was a fighter with two loaded tanks.

[Chorus]

Blame it on Santa
his elves and reindeers
Blame it on Santa
for all your wasted years
Blame it on Santa
for your women's dripping tears
Blame it on Santa
for your failed love affairs.
I blamed it on Santa
for the soft presents,
broken bells, killing shells,
lonely Christmas, prison cells
one story that no-one tells.

I woke up in the morning
on that very special day
I looked at my christmas tree
no drugs to stop decay.
No brightly swinging red balls
no shining star on top
and all through the long year
avoided the needles
still couldn't raise the flop
once lush and upright was my christmas crop.

[Chorus]

Blame it on...